You really need to stop smoking those things
Oh, I’m getting off lightly. One of the worst things about my workplace is the restrooms, which are badly maintained, covered in homophobic graffiti and frequented by mad bums. Just now I shared space with someone who was loudly panting in the next stall and narrating his defecation to himself between chuckles and whimpers. That was the day’s two-minute window into hell; now put your head down and keep going.
